Mediation and the Marital Home: What to Settle About the House Before You List or Refinance

In many Texas divorces, the big decisions are made in a mediation session rather than by a judge. For couples who own a home, the house is usually the largest item on the table. The agreement you sign will say who keeps it, who sells it, or how it will be divided. What it often does not say, because nobody had the numbers, is whether the plan works in real life.

Know the numbers before the session

A mediator can help you negotiate, but the facts have to come from somewhere else. Before mediation, try to have:

• A realistic value for the home, from an appraisal or a market analysis rather than an online estimate.
• The current mortgage balance, rate, and monthly payment.
• An estimate of what a sale would cost: commission, repairs, and closing costs.
• A conversation with a lender about whether the spouse who wants to stay can qualify alone.

Questions the agreement should answer

• If one spouse keeps the house: how long do they have to refinance, and what happens if they cannot?
• If the house is sold: who chooses the agent and the list price, who pays for repairs, who lives there until it sells, and how are proceeds divided?
• Who pays what in the meantime: mortgage, taxes, insurance, and upkeep.
• What the deadlines are: and what the consequences are if one is missed.

Why a plan B matters

An agreement that depends on a refinance is only as strong as the lender's answer. Build in a fallback, such as a defined sale timeline if the refinance does not close. That avoids sending you back to court over something that could have been decided in advance.

Where I fit in

I am not an attorney, and I do not give legal advice. What I can do is prepare the real estate numbers so your attorney and the mediator are working from facts. For background, see Community Property in a Texas Divorce, Should You Sell, Buy Out, or Co-Own After Divorce?, and how a buyout refinance works.